A few months ago, I was speaking with a senior leader.
He was sounding frustrated. His team was delivering, but he felt something was off. People were doing the work, but not really stepping up. Fewer opinions. Less energy in discussions. More compliance than commitment.

He couldn’t quite explain it. There was no obvious problem. No one seemed unhappy. Results were fine.

He said, “I don’t get it. I do thank them. I recognise good work.”

I asked him when he last told someone why he values working with them — not what they delivered, but what they personally bring that others don’t.

He went quiet. Thought for a moment. Then said, “I’ve never really done that.”

Most leaders believe they’re good at motivating their teams. They say thank you. They call out wins. They might even run an awards programme or invest in a recognition platform. And yet, many employees still don’t feel valued by their boss.

This gap isn’t a failure of effort. It’s a misunderstanding of what actually makes people feel seen, appreciated and inspired during work – not just after it’s done.

Public recognition, with all its bells and whistles, plays an important role. But what sustains engagement day to day is something quieter and more consistent: affirmation. Although usually associated with the language of self-help, affirmation is one of the most effective (and underutilised) leadership behaviours at our disposal.

So this week, let’s explore the power of affirmation beyond self-help. How does affirmation at the workplace drive morale and change the way teams show up at work? And what are some practical ways to make it a part of your daily leadership?

Recognition vs. affirmation

Recognition and affirmation are often treated as interchangeable, but they’re fundamentally different. Recognition is focused on outcomes. It looks backwards, spotlighting what someone has accomplished once the work is completed. In many organisations, it’s transactional by design – with incentives, awards or formal praise tied to results.

After a review or a meeting, recognition usually sounds like:

“Nice job on the presentation.”

Affirmation sounds different:

“The way you anticipated the questions and addressed them upfront — that changed the quality of the conversation. It made the decision easier for everyone.”

The first comments on what happened. The other explains why it mattered.

Why ‘mattering’ matters

Many organisations invest heavily in recognition systems, yet studies show that most employees still feel undervalued or invisible. The issue? A lack of ‘mattering’.

Research shows that employees don’t thrive just because they’re encouraged; they thrive when they receive evidence that they are significant. Affirmation provides that evidence by reminding team members how their strengths, perspectives and contributions uniquely shape outcomes – for customers, colleagues or the organisation.

In his piece for the Harvard Business Review, Zach Mercurio reminds us of the vital importance of ‘mattering’ at work:

It is a primal need. Mattering enhances self-esteem (“I’m worthy”) and self-efficacy (“I’m capable”) and strengthens motivation, well-being, and performance. This is critical for organizations to recognize: Employees who believe they matter report greater satisfaction, are more likely to be promoted, and are less likely to leave. In one study of 7,900 business units, teams in which people felt cared for and valued by a leader had higher levels of customer satisfaction, productivity, and profitability.

I’ve seen leaders do this in small, unplanned ways.

Telling someone, “You bring calm into messy discussions. People think more clearly when you’re around.” Or “You catch the things others miss. That saves the rest of us a lot of trouble later.”

These aren’t big speeches. But people remember them.

What affirmation is (and isn’t)

Affirmation isn’t cheerleading, generic praise or positive talk. It’s rooted in attention and specificity. At its simplest, affirmation happens when a leader:

• notices something meaningful about how a team member works
• names it clearly
• connects it to real impact

Operating in real time, affirmation boosts morale and confidence while the work is happening, thereby influencing future outcomes. When used consistently, it signals a leader’s belief in their team long before any formal recognition appears, inspiring team members to raise the bar they set for themselves.

Affirmation as a leadership practice

Affirmation isn’t expressed via policies, platforms or HR systems. It lives in the everyday interactions leaders have with their teams, showing up in one-on-one conversations, team meetings, feedback sessions and watercooler chats.

More than grand gestures, what makes affirmation tick is frequency and consistency. Leaders who affirm well don’t wait for milestones.

Sometimes it’s as simple as saying,

“This hasn’t landed yet, but I can see how much thought you’ve put into it. The way you’re thinking about the problem is exactly what we need.”

It tells people you’re paying attention before the outcome shows up.

A practical guide to affirmation

Affirmation becomes effective when we approach it with intention and clarity. The following suggestions offer concrete guidance for leaders to affirm effectively:

1. Renew your attention.

Affirmation starts with observation. Perhaps you know your team members well – but do you notice them? Do you clock their day-to-day ups and downs? Do you show genuine interest in their experiences and viewpoints? Paying attention to people is a vital relational skill for leaders. Sharpen it by scheduling regular one-on-ones, asking exploratory questions and making a note of key points – so you can follow up.

2. Name something specific.

Instead of praising someone in general terms, anchor your words in a specific behaviour or choice you’ve noticed – and connect it to impact. This grounds your affirmation in provable reality, which helps people trust and internalise what you’re saying about them.

Empty praise fades because it sounds like this:

“Great job.”

“You’re awesome.”

“Thanks for all your hard work.”

Affirmation sticks because it sounds like this:

“When yesterday’s meeting stalled, you took the initiative and invited everyone to share their perspective. That was a great move – it sparked momentum and helped the team integrate their ideas.”

3. Call out strength in action.

Go beyond praising outcomes alone to spotlighting your team’s capabilities in real time – be it creativity, curiosity or composure. This helps people understand exactly what they bring to the table during their work, which in turn bolsters self-confidence and a healthy sense of pride.

4. Share the impact they can’t see.

Many employees are far removed from the downstream effects of their work. Leaders can close that gap by explaining how their actions positively affect a teammate, a customer or the company as a whole. Sometimes this is just passing something along and adding one line. “You’ll never meet this customer, but this email happened because of what you did last week.” Or explaining, “Because you handled that cleanly, three other teams didn’t have to spend their week firefighting.”

5. Don’t play favourites.

Affirmation isn’t a reward reserved for top performers. If you affirm only high achievers, it becomes yet another form of transactional evaluation. Take a broader approach by noticing meaningful contributions across roles and levels. This drives home the idea that value isn’t limited to achievement – rather, it’s embedded in how work gets done.

6. Run an audit.

To track progress and keep affirmation top of mind, a quick audit can be useful. List your direct reports and note what you’ve done recently to affirm each one. Dig deeper into gaps by reflecting on the following questions, suggested by Mercurio:

Who might be feeling unnoticed? Why?

Who might be under-affirmed? Why?

Who might not experience feeling needed? Why?

What practices can you implement?

7. Affirm to support feedback.

Not to be confused with flattery, affirmation doesn’t sidestep accountability – in fact, it strengthens it. Psychologist David Yeager’s work finds that people are more open to criticism when leaders first establish belief in their capability. Affirmation creates the trust that allows performance feedback to land. “I’m raising this because I trust your judgment and expect you to handle it”, feels very different from feedback that arrives without context.

At a time when so many employees feel undervalued or invisible, affirmation is one of the most direct ways leaders can restore confidence, engagement and meaning at the workplace. It doesn’t require bigger budgets or complex policies. All it needs is your commitment to notice, name and share what matters – even if it feels a little awkward at first.

When leaders affirm well, people don’t just feel appreciated. They see themselves more clearly. And that clarity changes how they work. Each time a team member receives evidence of their significance, they act with greater ownership and care.

Recognition still matters. Bonuses, titles, awards all have their place.
But affirmation is what fills the long stretches in between.

If there’s one thing to try this week, it’s this:
tell one person something specific you’ve come to quietly rely on them for — and say it plainly, without dressing it up.